A working woman who did the work, pt 1
This blog post has nothing to do with my business. Or maybe it has every bit to do with my business, considering last year I would never had had time to sit and write. And I love writing. So I guess this is about business in that the practices in my business changed my life and it is my sincere hope that I could do the same for you if you feel so called.
After writing that ambitious paragraph, I had to stop and go outside. The light is just right that I thought there may be a rainbow. If my kids were here, I would have enthusiastically ushered them outside to hunt for the rainbow with me. Because that is the type of mom I always wanted to be - the mom who shows her kids the simple loves of life, like rainbows and sunsets. But instead, I used to be the type of mom who said things like “shh, I am on a call” or “hang on, I need to get back to this person” or “five more minutes to finish these emails” (and it was never just five more minutes).
Now I am a woman who stops mid-task to look for rainbows. Miracles do happen.
I am also currently home alone in the evening. It’s probably been…years…since this happened. Or it happened when I was working and I was alone because my husband knew I was on the brink of needing everyone away if I was ever going to finish, but I was so focused that I didn’t realize no one was here.
Today I am home alone because he took the kids to get new skates for hockey camp. And instead of doing the laundry, or cooking dinner, or some sort of puttering that makes me feel productive, I’ve become a person who does fulfilling things when alone. Like write, because when I was growing up, I always wanted to be a writer (and not like the corporate one I became, though that had it’s own spark, too. Apparently this is the part of the blog post when I can no longer pretend I am just here to be creative. There is an angle, as any good PR person can find. Though this is also about my lived experience, which makes this writing and business the really good kind.)
So how exactly did I go from the thinks-about-work-every-waking-hour kind of mom to a looks-for-rainbows kind of mom?
The story starts a year ago, but I think we should go back a little extra for perspective.
The short extra perspective: I was a talented people pleaser who enjoyed delivering great work before anyone asked for it, which led me into rooms I never dreamed of, validation I didn’t think was possible, and onto a rung of the ladder that left me teetering and wondering “is this it?” Meanwhile my kids were asking “why are you working all the time?” and the rainbows kept coming and disappearing without me noticing. Kind of like their childhood, I began to realize.
Then I got pregnant again.
“Can’t give a baby an iPad” I joked, which now makes me cringe. But what else was I to do when something was on fire in another country and I was the one with the words to make the crisis a non-event? So I decided that this baby would not be a device baby, and the kids who were growing up too fast at home would no longer have phones shoved into their hands when I falsely believed I needed to be paying more attention to the people on the computer screen than the ones I had grown with my own body.
So I set about a plan to quit. It was not flawless. Life lifed and it happened months after planned. But also perfectly aligned and timed, as the universe tends to deliver to people who believe it in. I would consult! Something I had always dreamed of dreamed of since I found success. And what do you know - I quickly found success with consulting, too. Within a year, I was billing 50 hours a week.
That was not part of the plan.
That part was my nervous system and my body, still only knowing how to be a talented people pleaser who enjoyed delivering great work before anyone asked for it and could never risk her reputation for being so.
to be continued….
About the author
Hey there. I’m Meghan
I use a bunch of amazing woowoo to live a life I designed. It helped me recover from high-functioning anxiety and overworking.
I have immense gratitude for my own transformation and would love to help you do the same, feel your best, and laugh along the way.
I also like writing ;)
Follow along @meg_larson on IG or see how I can help.
Thanks for being here <3
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